Terry needs to take care of her children

I have found my blog and thought I would use it. It has been neglected for so long....perfect time to reinvent my vent page! I have had great progress in my life: almost debt free, everyone is healthy sans some minor issues here and there, school is going great for the kids, my working is going great and a move is coming. (Thank God in heaven, we are moving back to our home in SC)

My son had a run in this summer with some boys. They all started a shoe box on fire. Nothing was damaged minus the shoe box. In CA, fire is a big deal. Heck, any kid playing with fire is a big deal. Anyway, I had left the kids with my dh while I went for a walk at the PT (physical training) course with a friend. I come home to PMO (on base police) writing up a report for my son, as well as five other kids. My son admitted to it and was grounded up until a few weeks ago. (it had been for until we moved but he has been good) He also completed a fire safety course. All the kids involved were issued to attend. (only one other kid did)

One of the kids involved (actually all but one involved ) is a MAJOR discipline issue. It is your typical parent ignores the child, puts little effort into their child's future and the child acts out. He has ADHD issues anyway which make it much worse. Example #1. I come back from a women's weekend with some ladies and walk with my bag down the street to home and this kid is saying EVERY cuss word you can think of at the top of his lungs and destroying one of our baby trees. Example #2. He breaks a cement drain catch a our neighbor's house. Our neighbor walks him home and is out five minutes later. Example #3. He threw rocks at another neighbor's car. Neighbor brings him home. In another instance, they ask Terry if her son is the mulatto boy. She was all bent out of shape like they called him the N word.
Definition Mulatto:
1
: the first-generation offspring of a black person and a white person
2
: a person of mixed white and black ancestry

I have heard this story many times or had until our blowout. You see, we had been friends for about 8 years until the incident I am going to vent about. Our daughters were best friends during elementary school in SC. They did Girl Scouts together, even did a camp out together, slept at their house and my house....then we moved. They moved into our neighborhood almost a year ago. They were actually slotted for the townhouse connected to ours. (Thank God they begged for one with a bigger driveway!)

Her son had been little while we were in SC. He was just really hyper and seemed like he had to moving constantly. He was put on meds right before we moved and they seemed to calm him down so that school went more smoothly for him. Well, he isn't on them anymore. As soon as they moved in, he was causing problems. My dh has asked the kids to stay off the wall in front of our house a few times but he would continue and would talk back when asked to move. At one time, he was smashing our street signs with a baseball bat. He would yell, scream and cuss out there. Finally, my dh told the kid he was not allowed to play with Michael because of his behavior. After his cussing incident from my weekend, he asked why he couldn't play with my son. I told him because he cussed a lot. He let me know that he had stopped doing it.

After the fire incident, my son was grounded, as I said. All the kids were told, including this boy, MULTIPLE TIMES. They have also have been told NOT to play in front of the house because they become too loud and tear up the mulch and plants. This incident was not the first time, obviously. My dh told them to go play at the playground so they went off to play. Not five seconds later, our doorbell rings. Seriously? It is Terry's boy. "Can Michael play?" Yes, I was hot. I had already told him two other times that Michael was grounded until we moved. My response was: "He is grounded because of the fire you all started." He responded,"I didn't start the fire." My response was,"You were there. He cannot play with you or anyone. He is grounded. You need to leave."

I was angry. He had been asked REPEATEDLY not to come to our house, he was not allowed to play with my son even before the incident yet he continued to come back. Unfortunately, I hurt his feelings. I didn't mean to but was frustrated with the situation. I was mad at my son and all these kids because of the magnitude of what they had done and my son seemed to be the ONLY one to get punished properly.

Later that weekend, I sat out in front of my friend's house with another neighbor, something we have done since moving here almost three years ago. It has always been a peaceful, stress relieving thing. Terry came down to talk with us. She didn't do it often so it was a treat. Or so I thought. She went into how I had hurt her son's feelings. How he didn't understand what we meant by him not being able to play with my son or in front of the house. I apologized for hurting his feelings. She also told us about how she was about to beat her son with a spoon or something and didn't know PMO was in her driveway. (they escorted him home after the fire) She then went on to rant about how her kid got beat up at a park that is outside of our neighborhood. How her son is always being picked on and beat up. This has been her line since SC. He was getting beat up at the park at age 3 or 4. Why was a 3 or 4 year old out at the park without an adult? Why was he allowed at a park that is not even in our neighborhood? Why does she not set limits on her son? These are the questions you cannot ask her because she would be offended. It was one of those places you couldn't go for fear that it would fracture your relationship. Well, it went there and it did.

My neighbor, a friend of hers on Facebook let me know that she had posted her status as ' I am upset. my neighbor is such a liar' or something to that affect the next day. ( I deleted her after the fire) I was done, completely. I wrote her a letter. This is what I wrote:


I guess the door swings both ways. You seem to have a problem with me and don't speak to me about it. Yes, I did lie and that was to spare your feelings. I didn't tell you how it really is. You know why everyone cannot stand your child (your words not mine)? He is undisciplined and destructive. He talks back to adults when told to do something. He has been brought home after damaging someones property and out free five minutes later. I didn't come to you because you would come up with some lame excuse and try to talk your way out of it, hands over your ears and eyes. With all your online college, you would think that you would be educated enough to educate your child on how to behave in public. You act as if your sh*t don't stink and your children do no wrong. You cry about how your son had this done to him or that. Why was he even there to be in that situation? If you would truly supervise him, he would not be in half of the problems he is always in. Yes, my son did wrong and guess what? He is taking a fire safety course and does not leave my house unsupervised. How many times does it take for you to open your eyes that your son will continually be a discipline problem until you step up and quit playing the 'victim'. Consider any communication between us done. Good luck to you and your family.

She came storming to my door right as I was feeding my family dinner. She jumped down my throat about how I lied and admitted it. Yeah, I lied about how I felt about his behavior, not about what I said to him. It got very heated and then she text her dh and he flew over and then it became a mess. She wanted to know why I had a problem with her 'edumacation', her words, not mine. It became a racial thing(she is white, he is black), an education thing, my having five kids, their crappy parenting skills.... Then he drags his son out of the car, he is physically shaking because he is so scared. His dad yells at him,"Don't play here! They don't want you here!" I tried to apologize to him and then his dad yells,"Don't listen to her, she hates black people!" WTF? I think out of everything, him dragging his son out of the car and saying that of all things was what has eaten at me the most. I even tried to explain I don't know half of my family because of racism because my grandfather married an Native American woman. My dh is Polish Japanese. We aren't all white either. I have had their dd at my house and my dd has spent the night at their house. For real? I actually had to call PMO to make them leave. As I walked down to my neighbor's to sit, as planned, Terry's husband, flipped off my friend. (also her friend) The childish behavior has continued and probably will until we move.

What it really boils down to is that they are both victims. Victims of their own bigotry. They are teaching their kids that all white people are against them. Yesterday, their son shoved a girl over and choked her. (same people that asked if he was the mulatto boy) The parents called PMO on the boy. The dad came storming over calling her a racist bitch.

My son has been harassed by this kid at school. He threw a rock at him early on in the school year. I had to call the school and even had to go in and speak with the vice-principal. On top of it, this 'woman' would give my son dirty looks. Again, for real? All the education and you still behave like you are in junior high? You are going to behave like that towards a child? We were at the same function for the neighborhood. I was on the sidewalk with my kids. She actually walked into the road to avoid me. LMAO! Venting on her might be childish but at least I can speak to her child respectively. I have said hi back to him. Asked him how he is doing. Simple things to let him know that I do not hate him and that it is not his fault. He is just a kid. Apparently, so are his parents......

Deep down, he is a great kid with no positive direction. Terry asked for info for football because pop Warner is expensive. I gave her the web site for a cheaper team that everyone in our area plays with. Too expensive, again. Then downsize your car! Why would you buy a vehicle you cannot afford? If you live within your means and not be 'car poor', you would be able to put your child in sports. You could afford to give them the braces they deserve and need! I know that my daughter's self esteem has gotten so much better from hers.

Lord, please look after those kids. Let them find direction and someone that will give them positive guidance. Let someone take the time to show them that they matter in this world. I pray that You show them that there is love in the world, no matter what color.
Amen

I leave all my anger in God's hands. Thus, my vent is complete!

Where is my compass?

I really don't know where life is headed right now. I feel pulled in so many directions and don't really know what I want from life. I feel like I am where I am supposed to be in a way but not fully satisfied with what cards I have been dealt. Money is tight and seems to have been since we have been married. No surprise I know, especially with five kids. The honest to God sad part is that we make a lot of money but have put most of it into paying on stupid debts like credit cards and loans. Some are unavoidable like braces. The credit cards were set up because we were broke and now we are perpetually broke. If we didn't have our house in SC still, we would not be broke, especially with me working.
Me working. I like it but wanted it to be an extra, not a nessessity. I planned it to be a quicker way to pay off our debts but it ended up being a means to keep afloat, thanks to our house not having renters. Where was the self control in NOT buying the damn house? If only housing had been as nice as it is here. Of course NOW they are renovating ALL of housing down there. Load of sh*t if you ask me.
Another thing that bothers me is my body. I am in pain 24/7 because of my extra weight. Yes, I am fat. I mean F-A-T. Lord, I have been 'obese' since the birth of my third child. I am to the point where I almost don't care anymore because I am too tired and hurt too damn much to do anything about it. I wasted a good part of the day taking a nap?@! I feel like I am falling into another depression because of all the nonsense of it all. Pain, debt, bills, no sleep, tired, working.......
I am a little green with some of my friends' lives. They live thin and beautiful. They have lived full of life and light and I feel like I am just a rung below.....I am just a step away from it but just can't seem to get my grip on everything and pull up to the next level. I am very fortunate to live the life I do, considering the other ways that life and fate could have dished out to me. Coming from a very broken home, it could have turned into not much of a life at all. Thank God for my husband who showed me the right path.
That was a good vent. I feel much, MUCH better. Sometimes just airing it out relieves some of the pressure that seems to build and build until I feel like I am going to pop. Thanks blogger~

Irritated today

I am slightly irritated today. I was fine until I really got to thinking about this one thing. Memorial and All Star teams. My son didn't make either. That is not what bothers me. There are so many talented kids on our teams that I knew that he had only a small chance to make it.

First off, Memorial teams. There are two teams and usually coaches kids make up these teams, as is the case right now. That is why I am irritated. One of the kids, God bless him, made it. WHY? Oh, because is dad is a coach and brown noses like you would not believe. He is a good kid and my son liked him until this. He can't catch or throw, seriously. He makes one out of every like 20 catches or throws. He can hit ok because he uses a big barrel bat. He still strikes out at that. COME ON NOW~! There are a TON of kids better than him, including my son.

All Star teams are out and my son didn't make it. If this kid makes All Stars, I will be absolutely livid. Yeah, you could say that my I am so angry because my kid didn't make it but I would still be mad if this kid made it over a ton of others.

He is going to get slaughtered in the next league and his dad is just setting him up for it. Oh, and the Memorial Teams WERE slaughtered at their tournament. Funny how that works.....

back to my site....

I am back to my old stomping ground! Things have changed drastically. We have moved to Cali and have been here for about 18 months. Lizzie has since been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, Emily has had two knee surgeries to correct her knocked knees, Michael is very active in baseball, Emma tried dance and Tball, and Matthew is HUGE compared to that last photo.

We no longer participate in Girl Scouts. After dealing with Nida, we have all had a bad taste in our mouth for it. Emma would like to do Brownies this fall. If she wants to, I will support her 100%. She is also considering gymnastics and will be doing T ball again this fall. That is a lot for one little girl.

I have had nothing to be excited about lately. I have enjoyed reading since being here. My neighbor, a friend that moved from SC just before us has a large book collection. She has been very generous in allowing me to borrow as many as I can read.

I guess our biggest news lately is Lizzie's recent diagnosis of Autism. Why it took 13 years? Ask her doctors. She has coped very well with middle school. Her support team is awesome. She is starting to have issues with a few girls being mean. Luckily, there is only one week of school left.

My body is feeling my age and my weight. I lost nearly 40 pounds last year but put about 20 back on after my dh returned from a six month deployment in November. He left recently for a 4 monther so my goal is to find a balance in my weight loss and him being here. I had hand surgery done to remove a cyst about a month ago. I am going in for a nerve study in that same hand for carpal tunnel. There are other things, aches and pains that can be fixed with weight loss. I am back on the wagon after losing my momentum. We will see how it goes this time. I would like to just lose that pesky 20 pounds that came on when he came home and go from there.

Anyway, now that I have vented a bit, I can get to bed. Plus, my hand is hurting from all the typing. I think I am almost ready to start learning the guitar. It all depends on if I need surgery again.....

MY BABY IS HERE!

I had my little man! Yeah, it has been a while and I have not felt like blogging. My son was born May 4 weighing in at 8 pounds even. He has been a blessing so far, honestly. He only cries when he is hungry, dirty, or just wants to be cuddled. We planned on having him sleep in his crib but he decided that the family bed was best for him. Best part? He looks just like me!

Everyone has adjusted very well. Emma had some issues for a couple of days but we have worked it out. We have had some "us" time and cleared it all up. She just needs to be reassured that we all still love her and can give her time with us.

Another great deal: I have one pound to go to my prepregnancy weight. I feel fabulous! It took about a week for all the swelling to go down but after that ~ I was good to go. I have already set a weightloss goal but I am waiting to get to my 6 week postpartem appointment before posting it on my weightloss blog.

Off to take care of my little man! Fold laundry, take care of the kids.........

Soon to be Cali girl!

Yup! We have orders to California! Warm, sunny, not so hot days are coming to us right after Christmas. We will be moving in January to Southern California. This means season passes to Disneyland! That means we get to go to Sloppa's house. (AKA Minnie Mouse in Emma's eyes) We are thinking of upgrading to a Suburban for the move. It would be great fun to travel across the country in a minivan with two hamsters, a cat and FIVE kids. Then again, our van has everything we could ever ask for, except MORE ROOM! LOL We need to just lay and wait for this to unfold. I know that Mike is excited to get back into sea work and to try another side of the Earth to travel. I am excited to try another part of the world myself. What fun would it be being in the military if you didn't take advantage of moving to places you would never live. Mind you, I went to Cali back when I was ten and even got to see carriers across the water from our restaurant. My grandparents live in Long Beach off the ninth hole of a country club. Hey, at least Mike would get to golf every once in a while off a top notch course!

Hopefully, I will be posting pics of my baby soon! Not much longer to go until my due date! One week, two days to go!!!!

It has been a LONG time

I know blog....I have neglected you. See, I have this thing called a life. Not that there has not been anything to post about. I have been just TOO BUSY to get on here and write. Things that have happened, short version:
First off, I don't know where I left off. We finished cookies, earning about $24oo in sales. That means our girls get to do a LOT. I have had drama with another parent over dates of our camping trip. Needless to say, she is like best friends with Nida and the two older ladies have been gossiping and getting each others feathers in a bunch. She wrote me a letter about a change in date for a big trip which was always slated for the 14th but thought about the 21. It was slated for the 14th because we were going to do Junior Jam. We canceled that because of too much going on in that month and because we had a LARGE camp out two weeks before. We thought about moving it to the 21 but didn't because the base elementary, about 80% of our girls go there, have a carnival. Our troop has missed it the past two years. Well, she got all bent out of shape because she thought I changed it which I stuck with the original date. (Yeah, this is the short version) Needless to say, I offered her tickets for the events we were doing but she declined.

The big trip in question: We took the girls downtown Charleston for an AWESOME trip! We toured the Exchange and Provost for an hour. We then took a 40 minute scavanger pirate hunt through the city.We came back and had a picnic in Waterfront Park. We then walked the girls down and they took an hour long carriage ride. BEAUTIFUL! We then fed the girls at an elected restaurant, Sticky Fingers. MMMMM! I had quite a few BAD contractions in there. We all joked that my three other chaparones would have to have another parent watch the girls while they took me to labor and delivery. Needless to say, I am still pregnant!

The other reason we really pushed to have this activity this day and not a later date: two of our girls were supposed to transfer the first week in May. Well, one of the girls had her dad's orders pushed up and she moves this weekend! I am so glad that she was able to do this last big trip. We still have many planned until their money is gone. They will spend it because they earned it!

Our big camp out went really well! That was the weekend before Easter. The girls had a blast. One of our memorable events: Two raccoons tried to get into our food the first night. We jumped out and scared them away but I ended up getting my sons Tball bat out of the car that he forgot to remove. We told the girls the next morning that the raccoons ate all of our food. We had a large boyscout group of about 120 next to us that over heard the girls and came over to offer us food. They got a good giggle out of it too.

Another big event that has happened is my son has started his Tball and is a total star! He has had two games so far and has done so well! His second game was this weekend, our big trip so I missed it. He had a HUGE cheering section. A bunch of the boys from his AAU team (he is bat boy for a 12 and under team) came to watch as well as two of our neighbors. He had an awesome play that was totally WOW! He was playing first base, had the ball thrown to him which he caught. The boy running to first tackled him, he fell and kept his foot on base, showing the ump the ball still in his glove. He then stood making sure his feet never left the plate. He is my little Joe Mauer!

Negative news: my water pump went out on my van! It started to run warm and then the heat went out on it two weekends ago. I did a 45 minute COLD drive in shorts and sandals thinking it would keep me warm. Well, thank GOD for extended warranties! I paid my $100 deductible instead of well over $500. I was stuck there for FIVE HOURS with Emma. Luckily, no one was in the waiting room so we put cartoons on the big screen and stretched out in their leather sofas.

New drama with that mom from earlier: We had given out some badges this week during our meeting. My co leader made our transferring girl a birthday cake and had our meeting like usual. Well apparently we should have had a ceremony to give out the badges. I give up with trying to please that woman! First off, we service two schools on base. Her dd doesn't live near us or is even military. He buddy Nida is ex-military but lives in another service branch. Why don't they just scoot on down the road and start their own little group.

Anyway, I have run out of time. I will give more updates another time. A BIG UPDATE: I am now 1 week, 6 days away from my due date. I started contractions again yesterday during my son's practice. I honestly think I might go on my own with this one! Next appointment: Thursday. They will check progression.

My heart also goes out to those at VA Tech. I had a friend graduate from there a few years back. It is actually one of the schools I would like my kids to go to. They have a wonderful engineering program there. God be with those families....