I can't take much more of it!

I really can't take much of the mess that my kids make! I have kept the house in great shape the past few months. It really has been neat and tidy. Today just burst my bubble and hope completely. Michael's room has legos everywhere, Emily's room is totalled.....My room, I just found has marker all over the walls and on my dresser. Emma dumped HALF of a full bottle of hand soap all over the floor, from the kitchen to the fifth downstairs room. All which happened during my one show that I watch on Sundays. I am getting deeper into a hole of darkness. I am anxious all the time.....I don't feel like doing much of anything and don't want to deal with anything. Emma is awake hollering in her crib. I wish I had a grandparent I could just send them to for a week. Mike is like a third breast......just gets in the way. He walked in on Emma doing the soap mess and didn't offer to help clean her or the floor up. I guess he did just get off of work. Yeah, he went in and tutored his retards for four hours. Hard work.....
I need help out of this mess.

What is positive in my life......

1. I have four healthy, beautiful children
2. I have a healthy, loving husband
3. I am healthy
4. We have a new, reliable car
5. We have a large home

I should look at the ups but the downs are killing me at this moment. I know I will get over them in the morning with proper sleep but geez! Plus, I compare my life to others around me, people I know, certain friends and family and I have such a great life! I just hope that God has blessings coming for them too soon. I know at least that my Mom's is coming next weekend.....and a friend of mine will hopefully get a healthy little girl this fall. After all THAT girl has gone through and will continue to go through, I hope at least that will come true!

Green Fried Computers....

My computer fried.... great right? My dh suggested we have a friend build us one to help us get by until our October bonus. Hell no! Been there, done that. We went and took out a small loan and bought a new tower. It is quite a bit faster, more everything. I still don't have everything connected onto it though. Soon enough. I am just happy to get back on!

I have come to new spot in my life. I feel like I am ready to grow to the next level in life. I am ready to carry on with our finances and have them clear up. I am ready to get more physically fit. I am ready to start a brand new troop with our girls.

My list of goals

1. stabalize financially
2. get bills evened out
3. pay off our one loan
4. start NFCU savings
5. begin home school process for Michael
6. stick to fitness goals
7. set into pilates
8. get into 20 min walks on tread mill

I am set for a brand new school year! I am ready to grow and move on!

the past few weeks........

I have had a WILD few weeks. From the birth of my second neice to the visit of my sister and mil. All was very pleasant, minus a few things here or there. The birth went great! My neice is beautiful! My sister's visit was nice minus a little tension the last two days. I LOVE my sister but we get on each others nerves sometimes.
My first niece, my sisters child is a gorgous, chunky monkey! She has more rolls than the Michelin man. LOL More to cuddle up on. You wouldn't know she is only 3 mos and 5 WEEKS premmie.
The one thing that went well that I was dreading was the reunion with my dh's estanged mother. Their relationship has been very rocky. LOOOONG story. I have just stood out of that one totally. It was all on him. At first he really didn't want to even see her. Then she came down to visit Patty and hopefully Mike. She and her husband came here to visit. It was a tad strained but went very well. We went up the following day and it went better. In fact, we plan on visiting them for Christmas. My only fear is that she decides she doesn't want to put anymore effort into the relationship and Mike and my kids get hurt. I think she is for real this time. It was really great to get to hang out with her and Steve, her husband. He really dug hanging out with the kids. Shoot, he is a better grandfather for the kids than their real father. I am so not going there right now........the last post shows my reasoning... Here is another great example. They all had a little get together at Patty's. It went well until he opened his big, fat mouth. He told Steve,"Just wait until YOU get grandkids." Of course Patty pointed to Andrew and said that HE was his grandchild too. ~~SIGH~~

Do you know or have ever met a person who you just hate? Well, my father in law is one of those people. I hate him so much. He is the stupidest man I have ever met. To call him a man is giving him too much credit. This is the moron who locked me away in a back room for six months.
BACK STORY
When Mike and I were still first going out, a friend of mine he didn't like moved into my parents house. He was so apposed, he had me move in with him at his dad's house. He dad is the biggest D*ck I have ever met. I was not allowed to leave the apartment unless Mike went, not allowed to have a key.....I was locked away in Mike's room with no human contact except when Mike got home from school. (Senior year in high school. I didn't go anymore because of political reasons) When we were all moving out, Mike's two buddies, my mom, his sister, and her boyfriend did all the work. He sat on his ass the entire time and cussed them out, IN FRONT OF ANOTHER ADULT about how they didn't amount to anything and should hav done this and that.
A few years down the road, he comes to stay with us in VA until he gets on his feet. Apparently, my lovely husband invited him to stay permenantly. Oh, that didn't go over at ALL. He did odd jobs here and there, didn't cut it and ended up moving back home to Florida with mommy and daddy. Retard...Lazy....
As time goes by in FL, he does odd jobs here and there. He couldn't keep a job because of his mouth and laziness. He takes care of his father. A noble gesture but another excuse to sponge. Oh, did I mention the fact that his sister was paying the rent and bills for the apartment in Minnesota....for SEVEN YEARS? Well, after the passing of his father, he still did not get a job. Meanwhile, his older sister had been living there, maintaining a full time job, helping out their father and mother. Well, after the passing of their mother, they moved to Columbia, SC near us and in the same town as my sister in law. They have been there for at least three months and does not have a job. Yet again, his sister pays the bills and gives this grown "man" an allowance. He b*tches and moans about his diabetes and how sick he gets sometimes but eats sweets ALL the time. Just last night he had part of a cookie cake and his blood sugar went through the roof. Of course he didn't test, it was just how he felt. He was at our house the day before and had THREE cookies. He treats his children with contempt, and pays no mind to his grandchildren. He constantly asks Mike when he is getting his "G string" cut. I just let him know we are having about 7 more. Of course we aren't but the gullible sh*t shuts his mouth after that. I can't take much more or him. Mike is done with him as well.

Mike's mother is coming this week to visit Patty. Mind you this is the woman who abandon them when they were just 2 and 3. We went and visited her when Lizzie was almost 2 and she told all these lies about Patty, like she started her bed on fire, while her and her new husband were in it. She has two boys with dh#2 that are only like 2 or 3 years younger than Patty. She kept them. I don't want my kids to have anything to do with her. She is not breaking their hearts. They are supposed to come down on Wednesday of Thursday. I am going to have to talk to Patty about it. I didn't hear her right about inviting them over. I didn't hear the her mother would be with. My sister will be in town with her baby so I don't really want that many guests anyway. If I don't have them over, Patty will not let me live it down though.